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[ Saber needs a moment to think. Alone would have been preferable, but there is more to hear, she is certain of that. And she will hear it. ]

And so to protect you...Shirou and I fought. [ She nods slowly, repeating the story as she can guess it, from what she heard from Shirou before. ]

Essentially, yes.

[It's far more complicated than that of course. Zouken might've been the one to resummon Saber, but Sakura still used her for her own purposes too. If anything, the two of them fought because Shirou was trying to protect her from herself. She waits though, letting Saber take the information in.]

[ As much as sometimes Saber would wish Shirou would fight for her, she understands that her job is as a Servant, and it's only natural Shirou would choose Taiga, or Rin or Sakura over her... ]

How would he have been able to defeat me? His projection skill is weaker than I have ever seen it.

Rider helped him. [That's not nearly enough to beat SUPER-POWERED EVIL Saber though, so she explains further:] At one point during the war, Senpai lost his left arm. Archer was dying then as well, so he gave Shirou his left arm and saved him. Kirei Kotomine was able to attach Archer's arm to Senpai, and that gave him access to very high level projections. But...

It destroyed him. The more he used Archer's arm, the more it destroyed him. The amount of information that flooded him, the fact that a mere human was projecting things on the level of a Heroic Spirit... And the fact that Senpai, who gave up his ideals, was borrowing power from Archer, who didn't give up those ideals—it completely destroyed him. [Not even "was destroying" or "in the process of destroying". She remembers all too clearly what Shirou looked like in the cavern at the end of the war. If not for Illya's miracle, that would've been the end.] It's why Senpai doesn't remember a lot of what happened during the war. His mind couldn't handle the strain of it. When he used that arm, he lost parts of himself.

Kirei.. [ The name makes her mad, really mad, like she spits out his name in disgust.

But it hurts to hear that about Shirou. And it gives her questions to ask Archer, about his arm, about whether he remembers such a thing. ]

Despite the arm being his own, it destroyed him. [ She repeats what she has learned, thinking more on it. ] Shirou lost his memories, forcing himself to fight against me?

Were you in danger? Did you grandfather turn on you as well?

[She shakes her head.] It wasn't just against you. He had to fight Berserker as well, and then project an incredible Mystic Code through someone else's memory alone. Archer's arm was incredibly painful for him, yet he still used it. [a beat] I don't know how much he lost from using it, but I'm sure it must've been a lot.

[All because of her and her foolish decisions. It's why she remains quiet for a little while. She doesn't want to think about all the stupid things she did, how she almost destroyed her happiness with her own hands. But she told Saber that she could ask her anything, and that she'd answer. She has the answer for these questions. More than that, she can't run away from this.]

It's because I was evil. [She laughs once, short and sharp, but there's no humor, no joy in it. Just the disgust of someone who can't stand themselves.] I was stupid, weak, and cowardly, so I turned my back on the world that I thought had turned its back on me. Grandfather must have been pleased with me, because his tools became my own.

I see. If he could not use a Reality Marble, a Mystic Code would be another powerful weapon for him.

[ Shirou is an amazing man, that much she has already known, but it appears that at least this Shirou is still the same in that aspect.

Saber just watches Sakura though, still uneasy, but more receptive than maybe she had been before. Which was probably a bad idea.

She doesn't move at all when she hears that, not a single muscle. She needs a second here to think, before she speaks. ]

Then it was yourself, who caused Shirou to be this way? Though you had no other choice?

It was a weapon for Tohsaka-senpai. [She says it smoothly and without a hint of hesitation. There's no reason for her to keep it secret still, but it hasn't come up yet. Sakura doesn't feel like explaining that long story just yet.] Senpai could only rely on the arm.

It was a lot of things, but. But I was the biggest part. [She told him, begged him even, so many times to stop being so reckless, that he didn't have to fight. Yet he did, all for the sake of saving her. Even when the situation seemed absolutely hopeless, when he really should have ran away or just killed her after she turned, he still pushed himself to those unthinkable limits. Just to save her. Just to make her happy.

So it's her responsibility. Even if the Shadow's initial appearance, what led to the start of all of this, wasn't something she could've helped, it was still something that happened because of her. She knows what she's done, and she'll accept that. She has to.]

Rin... [ That reminds her of something. ] She said the two of you were like family. Is that the truth?

[ Is the Rin Tohsaka of Fuyuki her sister, she means. It would be a surprising development, but hardly more than anything else here she's learned.

Still, she looks sternly at Sakura. ]And yet he still loves you.

[nodding] Tohsaka-senpai is my older sister by blood.

... And yeah. Somehow, he still does. [If there's anyone amazed by the fact that Shirou still loves her, it's Sakura. How anyone could love someone like her, she's not sure she'll ever understand. But that just makes her all the more grateful for it. She treasures it more than anything else.]

Does she know that information?

[ Because all her time spent with Rin, though short as it was, it was never something Saber had learned about. ]

Then Shinji is her brother as well? [ That would...almost start to explain why she had done what she had saving him.

Saber treasured Shirou's feelings for her at some point too you hussy! Wait. Wrong route. Saber just nods slowly, the truth of things finally becoming more clear to her. ]

He is admirable in that, at least. [ His ability to forgive people that is. ]

She knows, but you're mistaken about her and Nii-san. She was never part of the Matou family; I was born into the Tohsaka family, then adopted by the Matous later. [Even if that seems like a lifetime ago now. She was around five-years-old when she was adopted, but she hardly remembered anything about her life in the Tohsaka family anymore. What she did remember only made her more bitter about her situation.

At some point in a different route and thus alternate universe maybe!! But at that, Sakura simply nods. She knows more than anyone how accepting he can be! HF wouldn't have happened without it!!]

[ That makes Saber's eyes open a little wider. ]

Why did they give you way?

[ It actually makes Saber...not angry, but just uncomfortable. Because the issue of parentage is something that still weighs on her own mind. But then, Sakura's parents are likely not related by blood... ]

[She remains silent for a while, mulling over how to respond, because she doesn't want to spew all her bitter anger over the subject when Saber has no part in it. While she understands why it had to happen, it doesn't change how she felt about it for eleven whole years.

Sakura's forgiven her sister at least, no longer holds a grudge over what she believed was Rin abandoning and ignoring her. Her father and mother though—they were dead. There was no chance to learn to forgive them.]

A magi family can raise only one heir. They already had Nee-san, and the Matous had no heir. The rest was simple.

[ She had known that, but still, to hear of it in practice is upsetting a little. It's obviously what led to the problems in Shirou's life, as far as she can tell from this conversation. Because Zouken was evil, Sakura become a tool for him to use, and gained power to control Saber herself as well. Why it had not happened during the 5th War as she saw it she can't say, but it leaves her unsettled. ]

It must have been a difficult life, raised away from your family. Were you aware the Matou's were not your true blood?

[nodding] I don't remember a lot about living as a Tohsaka anymore, but I did. After being adopted, I always hoped that Nee-san would come and take me away from the Matous.

[She laughs lightly, short and at herself, like it was such a silly thing to say. How desperately she'd clung to that hope. It's something she's let go of now, but reflecting on it... Not exactly the greatest thing to remember.]

That never happened though. It was just the foolish wish of a child.

If Rin had known what sort of life you were living, she would have come to rescued you without thinking of her own safety.

[ Saber talks sternly now, trying to make sure Sakura believes her, because she has a good reason to believe this. ]

Rin nearly died wading through the corrupted grail's contents, only to save Shinji, despite knowing his true character.

[Now Sakura's the one with the questions. Just what happened in Saber's version of the War? How did Rin save Shinji from something like that? And despite supposedly knowing what he was really like... She can't help but wonder why she would.

Still, she doesn't know if that means Rin would've come for her if she'd known. Her older sister didn't know the exact details of how the Matous trained their heirs, but she knew she was being trained as a magi. Would Rin, a magi from a different family, really have come to save her if she'd known? That girl, who followed the rules and laws of magi so staunchly?

She wonders.]

Well, I suppose there's no way of knowing for sure. [So she says simply, in a tone that's neither believing nor disbelieving. Maybe things would've been different. Maybe not. Thinking in what ifs won't get her anywhere.]

[ In order to save time, Saber recounts what she experienced here in action spam. Losing her contract with Shirou, Caster summoning Servants, Rin and Shirou saving Saber, Archer's betrayal. You know, just some UBW stuff. Like an Ufotable anime in words. ]

No, there is not. [ But Saber trusts in Rin. Especially the Rin she fought with in the war, though she is growing close to this one as well. She is certain that Rin would never allow her sister to live in suffering though. ]

[It's like Sakura watched all 24 episodes in just a few minutes... But WOW that sure was a wild ride from start to finish.]

You really did go through something completely different... [Well obviously, but it's pretty weird being able to compare their different Wars now!!] But I understand why you have so much faith in Nee-san now. She must have been happy about that.

[ Also, did you see those visuals? AotS. ]

She is still my Master, though I have come to regard this Rin as my current Master now. It seems a strong will is common amongst the two Tohsaka Rin's.

[ Oh of course, she hasn't explained who she is, not wanting Sakura to know yet, and not thinking she already knows.

And...why come it seems like Saber is smiling and blushing when she's talking about Rin? ]

She really takes after Nee-san, doesn't she? [Despite Sakura being such a pushover most of the time, she likes it. An attitude like that is something she's used to, so it makes her feel more comfortable.

And now with all that heavy stuff out of the way (and Saber seeming like she took it all relatively well), Sakura can't help but smile at Saber's expression. She's never seen her look so happy, and... Normal, in that sense. After she did nothing but ruin the Saber she knew back home, it makes her happy to see this Saber looking so well.

It might be the happiest Saber would've seen Sakura in all her time here.]

You must be very fond of them both.

Yes, I suppose she does. [ And Saber just smiles back brightly too. She's obviously...fond of both Rin's, but unable to really think about pursuing either one romantically as a knight might court a woman. Not yet anyway.

Seeing Sakura smile, full of emotion is strange, but it's clear that what had happened to her in her life had changed her, and hopefully for the better. ]

I do think highly of them.

I'm glad to hear it. It's reassuring to know that they have someone like you to help protect them. [She's trusting Saber with her family man... That takes a lot of faith for her!!]

It is also reassuring to know that you will be there for Shirou.

[ It hurts a little too, to not have Shirou as her Master or... well, Shirou is Sakura's now. That's all there is to it. ]

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springful - 2015-03-15 08:30 (UTC) - Expand

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